A Means to an End
by Adrastae
Summary: New Moon AU. Despite being abandoned by Edward, Bella's life seems inextricably linked to the vampire world. The path may be painful and arduous but that the end is the same is the most important part: to end up with your true love. B/J, B/E.
1. Chapter 1

Both Charlie and Rene had the same words of wisdom to offer.

_It will get better. _

_This feeling will fade away._

I suppose they would know. Well, maybe not Rene. She was the one who had left, after all, and was now happily married to a youngish pseudo-famous athlete. But Charlie was still alone after all these years. If he said this horrible emptiness in my chest would eventually heal, I should believe him.

I don't.

Not just because the pain is so deep, radiating down into my hands that I wonder if I've developed some sort of auto-immune disease and my limbs are dying off. Not because just crawling out of bed to go to the bathroom leaves me breathless, the weight pressing in on my hollow chest causing me to pant with the effort. I've considered just not drinking the glass of water Charlie replaces on the bedside table every few hours so I wouldn't need to visit the bathroom, but suicide by dehydration is beyond what little will power I have left.

I imagine how my father must have felt after Rene ran off with me with hardly a word. I'd never really thought about it before, but now as I find myself in my own similar hell of abandonment, I try to conjure up an image of him glued to his bed, incapacitated by the loss of his daughter and wife, but I can't. I can't imagine he ever felt this awful. He had work. He had friends like Billy Black and Harry Clearwater. He had people who needed him.

What do I have?

My briefly formed friendships seem shallow. I should have spent more time working on those, but I didn't. I spent all my free time with _him. _Even the idea of him makes the ache in my hands throb and I clench them tight until the pain dissipates. I put all my time and effort into my relationship with him – Edward, I make myself think his name – because it was supposed to be forever. He was going to change me and we'd be together until the world ends. Why it never occurred to me that he'd change his mind, I don't know. Looking back now, it should have. Maybe I was blinded by the love the rest of his family seemed to have for me. How happy they were that Edward had finally found his own love. I had taken my place in their family as a given and was only waiting for Edward to catch up. Change me, move me away to some place no one would ever recognize us, maybe start marrying every decade or so like the other couples do.

All this is gone now. My entire future, my love, my soul mate, my every other cliché one could come up with, is gone. Left on the forest floor where his words cut me down.

"_I don't want you."_


	2. Chapter 2

Charlie's threats to ship me off to the sun-drenched hell of Florida had its desired effect. I crawled out of bed, went back to the school, returned to my previously normal domestic duties which signified that the worse of my depression must be over. If they only knew.

Jessica attempted to bring up the Cullens' sudden departure one day at lunch but was swiftly quieted when she was interrupted but the unmistakable thud of someone's foot coming into contact with her shin. The table jolted. I was busy examining the banana before me, having already shut down when I realized where her line of questioning was heading, so I didn't see who to thank for shutting her up. After a moment I got up and left, heading outside into the rain. I now dreaded the few sunny days we received. They made me feel even more cut off from _him _– Edward, Edward, Edward – than I already knew myself to be.

I scoffed a laugh at my own stupid rituals. If I thought of _Edward_ but purposely avoided the thought of his name, I made myself repeat if three time. Like I could somehow conjure him up from the grave like Beatlejuice.

"Jess can be such a bitch." Mike Newton came up behind me, a sour look on his face.

"Can be?" was my cutting response. "When is she not? God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that about your girlfriend."

"I broke up with her a few days ago. I figured you'd heard by now."

"Oh. No, I guess I hadn't."

The bell rung to signal the end of lunch and Mike and I made our way back into the building.

"So you know, Bella, if you are ever free . . ." Mike hedged hesitantly.

"Mike. Thanks but – "

"Ok, the offer stands, whenever you're ready."

Whenever that will be.

I make it through the rest of school without further incidence. Unless you count sitting in the same seats that just a few months earlier were directly next to Edward's. But that's a daily occurrence.

When I get home Charlie's cruiser is out front. I sigh and put on my happy mask.

"Dad, I'm home."

"Upstairs, Bells," he calls down.

I toss my backpack onto the couch then go to the kitchen to figure out what to do about dinner. I wasn't expecting Charlie to be home yet but I know he'll be hungry sooner rather than later.

I hear him tromp down the stairs. "We're going out to the Rez tonight."

"We? Dad, I have homework—" I try to weasel my wait out of further socializing but he cuts me off.

"You can put it off for one night, Bells. It's Harry's birthday. Sue's throwing him a big shindig. Come on," he urges at the reluctant look on my face, "Jake's been asking about you."

"Why would Jake care about me?"

Charlie heaves a big sigh at my self-depreciation. "'Cause he hasn't seen you in forever and would like to see you. He's a good kid, Bells, you know him and Billy are family and—"

"I got it, dad, just let me go put some warmer clothes on and we can go." Charlie can't help hiding his smug grin of victory.


End file.
